Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
