I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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