How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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