:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
