Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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