i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
