i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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