the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
