You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
