im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize