So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
