i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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