brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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