Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
