Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
