I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
