the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize