hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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