goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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