Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
