Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
