Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
