Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
