i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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