oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
