dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
