so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
