that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
