It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
