His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
