Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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