Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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