There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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