it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
