Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
