so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
