More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
