dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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