The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
