Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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