my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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