I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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