He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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