You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
