Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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