what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?