Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
