I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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