My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
