The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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