normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
