The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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