I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
